DARE - Because Entrepreneurs Do

In the past decade, much has changed. More than anything,  we have realised  we can give wings to our dreams - we  can become entrepreneurs, artists, and in our own way, creators contributing to the society. So far, all is good

Vijay Anand

Only, the modern  entrepreneur has a tough time trying to balance family and work life.

Over the past few months, and even in my avatar organising Proto.in - one of India’s Largest Startup Events - one of our metrics to define things changing in the ecosystem was to study how many founders of young startups were getting married. If someone could convince the father of a bride to believe in what they do, there really must be something to that story.

When you talk to experienced entrepreneurs on how they manage the supposed work-life balance, some unsaid truths emerge.
1. You should marry someone who doesn’t do what you do
An entrepreneur walks alone, but what happens when someone joins you on that journey?  A wise one advised me that it’s good to find someone who isn’t  directly involved in the same industry as you are. Entrepreneurs can be very competitive, and  petty quibbles  in a relationship can become tiresome when building a family.

2. Find someone interesting
We  tend to feed off of our curious side. Routines bore most people. And a routine, even in the form of a person or relationship can be daunting to an entrepreneur. It helps when you come home, and can  just actively listen and converse on something other than what you do. If you are a high tech entrepreneur, a writer just might be a good match.

3. Manage your expectations carefully
Divorce rates in India are going up. No longer do men or women tolerate spouses that they can't be perfectly happy with; the emphasis being on perfect. The root cause:  expectations.  Someone told me, “Be very careful on the expectations you set before you get into a marriage. Even negative expectations are good, as long as nothing negative happens”.

4. Ensure that your spouse is also productively engaged
Watches were invented for entrepreneurs, because when the gears are churning, no one knows where time flies, and personal commitments are pushed off  the calendar. Find yourself a spouse who has engaging interests, so that you don’t have someone waiting for you everyday and disappointed.   That said, keep your time with each other to catch up and be no sync.

5. What were our dinner table conversations growing up?
Today we grow entrepreneurs with various events, workshops and through magazine articles. The old way of building businesses used to be around the dinner table, when conversations were exchanged on deals made, deals lost, and profit brought back. These conversations  built risk appetite. Your better half, depending on where he or she grew up, and the conversations they heard growing up, will have a very different reaction to you breaking the news of your adventure into the unknown.

6. Surprisingly, arranged marriages work better
There might be something to this, in the context of  expectation management. Most of the rather successful entrepreneurs, seem to be either married to spouses of their parents’ choice, or someone they knew for a really  long time and who understands the depth of the entrepreneurial madness that runs deep within.

7. Different priorities, different times
When young, aim to conquer the mountains. When the dependencies arise, aim for the plains and grow an army to aid you.

8. Share the joy with the family, and share the troubles with your advisors
A successful entrepreneur is nearly always backed by a strong family. It is a strong family that does not poke and prod  when business runs through the process of value creation (read stress), but when a deal is won and profits are declared, makes it a point to share the joy.

We as a country are very young when it comes to this new found individualistic independence. The million dollar question facing every entrepreneur is not whether or not they will succeed in business, but whether they can achieve that  success while having someone to cheer for them when they finally bring the trophy home.
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meet Vijay Anand
Serial entrepreneur, known as The Startup Guy. Until recently he was the vice president of New Ventures at IITM’s Incubation Centre. He is the founder of The Startup Centre, spearheads various startup initiatives, and sits on the board of a few companies. To write to the author, please send an email to dare@cybermedia.co.in with the subject line 'Vijay Anand'. Disclaimer: The views expressed here are that of the author and do not represent the magazine's.

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